the bench, as it relates to sports, has a terrible reputation.  people get sent there for sucking.  people get sent there when they are tired.  people never get off it because they just don’t have what it takes.  but maybe this reputation is undeserved.  maybe the bench isn’t the worst place on earth.  in fact, if you are on my fantasy team, you actually perform best when on the bench.  so, for day four, the pebble was unexpected.  it was a tiny thing, but the amazing thing was the ripples it was created:  i got benched (it was self-inflicted).

so, we recently bought a house to rent.  we have been fixing and fretting and dolling it up so that someone will hope to live in it and pay us to do so.  so, sunday, after a long and GLORIOUS wedding the night before, saint vincent decided he was going to do some things to the rental house.  lure renters in with new door stops and toilet flappers.

usually in these situations, either the kids stay with me or i go with them.  once the kids want to go, i go.  just to be sure that all goes well.  but this time, the kids wanted to go with their dad and i stayed home.  i moved from the middle of the parenting game to the bench.

now, it wasn’t like i had pulled out the whole line up.  their dad, a PARENT of them, was going to go with them.  he has exactly 50% of this game, too, so i wasn’t doing something revolutionary.  actually, i was doing something pretty every day.  i pebbled.

but here’s what happened while i was on the parenting bench.  left alone, i did the following:  two loads of laundry from beginning to end, changed the sheets, wrote a blog, designedg the invitation for the halloween party we are about to host, designed and sent an evite for said party, read the book for my meeting AND followed up on a work project.   stuff that left undone would have made me NUTSO. i literally SHREDDED my to-do list.  i loved it on the bench.

even when i showed up at the rental house and a tooth had been knocked out by a sister on a brother (it happened.  i kid you not.) i was STILL glad i had ridden the bench.  the tooth still would have gotten knocked out.  i just would have had to deal with the immediate blow back.  st. vincent had gotten tons of things done and the kids were happy and amused (even down a tooth.)

so, later in the day, i decided to try this technique again.  was it just an one-timer?  was it vincent jackson getting 20? a one time miracle. or was it rob gronkowski getting 20?  something i could count on.   my sister wanted to go to see our rental house (clearly this house is a constant theme) but i had to get to a meeting.  so i didn’t go.  i thought about going.  how could her eyes see the home without me there to narrarate?  but, i let st. vincent and the kids take her.

i went to the meeting. on the way to my meeting, i actually had time to go to kinkos to cut the invitations and laminate the kids’ fake driver’s licenses.  (don’t judge.  if i am STILL making them fake IDs when they are 16, then judge.)  there was literally NOTHING LEFT on the list.

and here is why this is key.  maybe, despite my protestations to the contrary, i am not necessary in every situation all the time.  maybe my voice isn’t ALWAYS needed.  crazy.  could it be?  i think it could be crazy good.

if you need me, i’ll be on the bench.

i adore you!