last night, i cleaned our turtle tank.  we have two turtles that used to be tiny and are now humongous.  they live in a 40 gallon fish tank.  quite frankly, if there was a group that looked out for the rights of turtles, i am sure these two would already be living somewhere better.  but i don’t think there is such a group, so they are stuck with us.  at least they seem happy.

in case you are wondering, i was cleaning the turtle tank at 10:30 pm.  the family rich-e-rich had an exciting day wherein helicopter, brother dearest, had given a golf club a great swing and sliced it right into his sister’s noggin.  five stitches and three hours later, she was repaired.  but her mother (i.e. me) still felt compelled to wake her after four hours of sleeping despite any indications WHATSOEVER that there was ANY CHANCE of a concussion.  too many nfl stories, clearly. so up was i until 11:30 to wake her.

cleaning a turtle tank is just about as disgusting as you can possibly imagine.  imagine trying to clean a POND.  especially when one has not cleaned said turtle tank for a few months.  (please see above note re: turtle intervention.)  luckily for me (and for the turtles), i have this hose that attaches to the sink and sucks the old water out and then puts the new water in.   while the hose is sucking the nasty water out, sometimes disgusting water gathers in the sink because the tiny sink drain is not up for the challenge of all the water.  such was the case last night.

so while i was keeping the sink from overflowing during the late night turtle tank cleaning, i was staring into the sink and noticed something.   there is a little hole in our sink that keeps it from overflowing.  realistically, i know that there is one of these in every sink.  but, until last night when it was helping me speed up the turtle water situation, i had never really thought about it.   in this case, it was amazingly useful.   it allowed me to work faster but without filling my entire bathroom with nastiness.

but, of course, i started thinking.  i really want to be an overflowing person.  i want to be the crazy sink with the water flowing out of every side.  i want to overflow with grace.  i want to overflow with joy.  i want to overflow with kindness.   i want to overflow with empathy.  i want everyone around me to be drowning in the grace, joy, kindness, empathy and love that flows out of me.  NOTE:  i do NOT want to overflow with disgusting turtle water.

but i don’t.  i don’t often overflow with any of these things.  sometimes, i intentionally give some of these to those around me.  but it is measured cups.  not so present that i have no choice but to dampen you with it.  so i wondered…what was my little hole that kept me from overflowing?   did i have more than one?   what are the things that i let rob me of my joy?  my empathy?  my graciousness?

i can certainly think of some likely suspects.  comparisons rob me of my empathy.  when i compare myself unfavorably to someone, i definitely feel less empathy for her.   selfishness robs me of joy.   when i am thinking only of myself, i see only the things that i DON’T have rather than all the things that i do.  when i am looking at and serving those around me, i am much more likely to feel joyful.

a pastor i know once spoke about how if someone was trying to steal your refrigerator, you would intervene.  but when things like empathy, kindness, joy and grace are being robbed, we are less outraged.  but i should be.  i should look around to all these little thieves and take back what is mine.  then my sink would be so full that no one could be near me without being SOAKED!   and part of that is being constantly connected to the faucet of these things.  but it also takes a wise eye fixed on the holes that have crept in.   and i plan to be on the lookout!

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