i am going to talk about my thoughts on an issue of the day.  gay marriage.  marriage equality.  marriage.  call it what you like, but stick with me now just for a minute.

so, clearly, as everyone else in the developed world, i have been thinking about this a lot.   seemingly caught as i am between two warring camps, my adorable gay friends whose happiness i want to secure and my delightful Christian friends who want God to be served very truly and feel he can’t be served in a country where gay marriage is allowed, i felt like i needed to outline to myself where i fell and why i fell there.  what did i believe?  on what truth did i base these beliefs?  what did the bible say?  how did this mold my thinking?  how did this affect those i love?  etc.

clearly, i want to support marriage equality and all that it means for my lovely friends who can not currently enjoy the benefits marriage provides.  but was i betraying God in this pursuit?

then, in the middle of all this thinking, i had another MIND BLOWING thought.   a thought to end all thoughts, as it were.  it doesn’t matter about whether homosexuality is morally acceptable.  that is not the question that is being asked.

“what?” you say.  “we are being asked what is right and what is wrong.”  and yes, we are.  but what i realized is that we don’t legislate MORALITY.  we legislate CIVILITY.  and right now, we are being asked about LEGISLATION.  so we aren’t being asked what is MORAL but rather what is CIVIL.

i can see your puzzled faces.  i see them.  you are saying, “but murder is illegal.  and immoral.”  and you are right.  there are certainly places where morality and legality (civility for my purposes) intersect.  murder is a good example of that.  but, there are also examples where there is absolutely no crossover.

here is an example on both sides:  1.  UNCIVIL BUT NOT IMMORAL.  playing loud music late at night is illegal.  however, i would argue quite heartily that playing loud music at any hour is not immoral.  sometimes it is even awesome!  but, as a society, we have decided it is uncivil.  therefore, you can get a ticket for it.  2.  IMMORAL BUT NOT UNCIVIL.  lying to your wife about an affair is not illegal.  yet i would argue quite stringently that it is immoral.  however, we have determined as a society that our civilization can proceed even if people are allowed to have affairs and lie about them.  (note to husband:  YOUR civilization cannot proceed with these offenses.  just saying.)

so, to make the judgement completely on the CIVILITY of the question, i am a “yes” for marriage. i think additional couples in formalized relationships in which people commit to the care and betterment of the other are a positive change for our civilization.  not to mention more homes for unwanted children.  and more homes for rescue pets!!  (clearly, this not the only benefit of marriage but still a good one!)

so back to morality.  i don’t know.  not because i don’t think there isn’t a truth about this, but lazy me hasn’t pursued it.  at all.  i don’t really need to know.  i have so many other issues about my relationship with God and my life that i need to spend my time determining that this one just falls down to the bottom of the list.  plus, as it wouldn’t affect my decision on this issue or on the way i treat my friends, i just have chosen to focus on other things.

instead, i will commit myself to challenging any one who this affects to meeting and communicating with God about it.  because He knows whether it is an issue, like getting a tattoo, that can be justified by the cultural boundaries of the day but is no longer applicable (as some would argue) or a larger issue (as others would argue).   He loves all of us, thankfully, just as we are and He will tell us the truth!   fortunately for most of us, he has NOT told elizabeth all the truth and, in this one area, she shall admit her limitations!   (can you imagine the uppity, know-it-all i would be if He HAD given me all truth? oh, to dream of it!)

i would encourage others to do the same.  for those i love who believe homosexuality is not moral, i challenge you to encourage people to talk to God about it.  and pray for me (and others) that God will reveal to me more truth. or those who believe it is absolutely moral, you talk to God too!   you can pray for me (and others) that God will reveal to me more truth.   the closer we all get to the author of truth, the more our lives will be defined by it.

know that i adore you!